By My Will
by Raenad
Summary: Pre-Season One.  Marian and her father have an unexpected visitor.  Rated T for a few references to adult content.  Nothing explicit.
1. Chapter 1

The skies were cloudy and dark and matched her mood perfectly. Marian stood at her window, staring out into the cloudy sky and forest beyond her home, quietly seething. Would that she lived in a place where men were not so stupid, greedy - and more interested in gaining women as property and child-bearers than as friends or partners.

She had just returned from another loveless wedding, where the bride cried more tears of sorrow than joy, while the groom, completely oblivious, beamed and jested with the other men who congratulated him on his conquest, and made lewd jokes about his wedding night. She'd seen it many times, and was a product of such a union, and still it was unsettling. She would never allow anyone to force her into such a marriage. She didn't care if they stoned her to death, it would be preferable even, than to spend a life with a man who she did not love.

It was her father who had decided to betroth her to Robin of Locksley, when she was but an infant. Robin, the self-proclaimed hero of Locksley. The people had filled his head with so much praise and adoration since he was a young boy, that he had become pompous and vain. She did not hate him; it was true that he was a good man, albeit too high on his own horse to really notice his own faults - of which there were many. The least of which, being his weakness for young ladies, who flocked to his bedchamber every night. She knew better than to think that the man would be devoted to her.

Marian tried to not think on these things, the knowledge that her would-be husband was so interested in loving so many other women besides herself made her want to equally weep at her own fate, and murder her fiance with her bare hands.

She supposed she was vain in her own way, though, and selfish. She wasn't terribly ugly, after all. She was certainly prettier than the last wench she'd caught Robin sneaking out of the woods with, at any case. She could only imagine what loss he must be feeling, now, that he was in the Holy Land, with no willing women to woo. Knowing Robin, he had probably found a beautiful infidel to keep him warm in the cold desert night. Knowing Robin...

A knock at the door interrupted her increasingly murderous thoughts. She quickly rushed to the side of the window, careful not to be seen in only her night clothes, and saw a dark head standing impatiently outside the front door. The man waited not three more seconds from the first knock, to pound loudly again. He looked up into the windows, possibly looking for an indication that they were home, when she caught his gaze. Pale, ice blue eyes looked back at hers for a startlingly brief moment, before she quickly looked away and retreated further into the shadows of her room.

The knock sounded again much louder, accompanied this time by a deep voice, "Open up, Sheriff. I have an urgent message from Prince John!"

Prince John? Why would he have a message for her father? She dressed quickly, as she heard the large, heavy door opening, and murmurs from below. Her father's small, tired voice reached her, and she immediately became anxious. She finished throwing on her dress, ignoring the cumbersome fastenings, and deciding she was decent enough for the occasion of being so rudely interrupted so late in the night, and rushed down the stairs.

Her father was speaking a man who had several armored knights with him, his voice quickly becoming panicked, when she burst into the room. All eyes were suddenly on her, but she only noticed her father's flushed face, and shocked expression.

"Marian!", he shouted, his gaze sweeping from her undone hair to her barely covered torso, to her bare feet, "What are you wearing? Go upstairs at once!"

She could feel her face growing hot under his critical glare, and her embarrassment at being chastised in front of strangers made her more than a little angry.

"Well, what does one expect, when one comes to the door at such a ridiculous hour!"

She heard the stranger laugh softly, and she finally got a good look at him. The Devil, himself was standing just inside her door, his black hair shining in the lanterns that glowed on the wall beside his head. His eyes were laughing, cold and blue, much like the ice she suspected made up his heart. His mouth was turned up in a slight grin, and her first reaction was to immediately hate him. She realized she was staring, with her mouth slightly agape by her father's third use of her name.

"Marian! Go back to your room! Now!"

Though she knew it was childish, she did turn to go, but with deliberate slowness. Her father rarely used such a tone with her, and she wondered if the servants were right in saying that he should have disciplined her more as a child. She was certainly every bit the head-strong, opinionated woman that they all knew her to be. She saw it as her only freedom. She was continually forced into this prison of a home, into the Lady that she had been trained to be, yet she longed for true freedom.

Freedom, that as soon as Robin returned, would be taken completely from her. Her father may excuse her shocking behavior; Robin never would. He had told her as much, several times, in fact. To spite him, she attempted to be even more contrary in his presence. She supposed it was becoming more habit now, than what she truly wanted. If someone told her to stay, she would immediately go. If she was told to sit still and be quiet, she immediately spoke up. Despite the small satisfaction her disobedience gave her, she sometimes feared she would one day go too far - and it would be her undoing.

She opened the door at the top of the stairs just as slowly as she had ascended them, still feeling those ice-blue eyes of the stranger upon her. He wasn't the first man to have ever noticed her, yet she was unnerved by it. She closed her door with much more haste than she had opened it, and retreated inside, her satisfaction at making her slow retreat somewhat dimmed by the strangers piercing gaze. She decided that next time, it would be wise to not give him cause to notice her. She held her door open only slightly, so that she could hear what was being said, and noticed that it took her father a few moments to regain the stranger's attention away from her door.

"What is the nature of this summons - and at so late an hour?"

"My name is Guy, Guy of Gisborne. Perhaps you remember me?"

Marian gasped. Guy? Guy was here? That was Guy? He had changed so much from the lanky boy she remembered from her youth that she would never have recognized him. The black hair, the pale blue eyes, the dimples in his face remained the same, yet now, as she looked upon him, she saw the hardness in his features that had replaced the soft; the cruelty in eyes that had once been kind.

"Guy?" Her father was clearly as startled as she had been at this unexpected visit. "What are you doing here? I thought you had been forced from this place long ago - "

"Well, now I am back, and I am the new, and rightful Lord of Locksley manor."

Her father stammered, but Lord Guy interrupted him before he could speak a coherent word.

"Prince John has sent me here to inform you that you have been out-bid in your job of sheriff. Your replacement will be here on the morrow to relieve you on your duties."

She watched as her father simply nodded his acquiescence, said a few mumbling replies, and handed over his keys. The guards that were with Lord Gisborne turned, not even attempting to hide their amusement at how uncomplicated their job had been. Marian wanted to disappear into the floorboards, her humiliation apparent in the tears that slid down her cheeks, and the heat in her face. Guy took one last glance at her door, his expression unreadable, and left.

She heard the front door close soundly, the last nail being closed in the coffin that was their dignity, as Marian saw it - and most certainly their livelihood. She watched through tear-stained eyes as her father slumped into the nearest chair and began to openly weep. She closed the door softly and leaned her forehead against the rough wood. How could he have just stood by and let this happen? She found herself once again, questioning the actions of men. Her father may be resigned to his fate, but Marian decided then and there that she would never let anyone control hers ever again.

This would be the last time she would allow herself to feel shame and defeat at the hands of a man.

* * *

Hello! Thanks for reading my little ficlet.

This may turn into something more, and it may just stand alone. Please excuse any grammatical errors. I didn't have a beta for this one. :)


	2. Waking up

**Title: By My Will**  
**Rating: T**  
**Characters/Pairings:Guy/Marian**  
**Summary:A prequel to Robin Hood, told in Marian's point of view.**  
**Disclaimer:I own nothing.:)**  
**Additional Notes: I sincerely hope that those who gave me such lovely reviews are not terribly disappointed with this next chapter. I still don't have a beta, so if you see any errors, please let me know. Also, to warn you, I'm not sure if this will end at Robin's return, or if I'll take it in another direction and make it AU. Unlike the writers of the series, LOST, I will admit that I have no definite ending for this story (although I do have some loverly, loverly daydreams in my head). Thank you for reading.**

She wanted to hit him.

Never before had such an irrational, barbaric thought entered her mind, but in that instant, she would have liked nothing better than to punch the stocky, balding man standing before them. He smiled at her father smugly, his wide, toothy grin a perfect expression of good will, despite the words of complete insolence that spewed from his mouth.

"As a token of gratitude for your years of service to this land, Prince John has extended to you the rights to your lands in Knighton and the hospitality of this keep whenever you wish it. Of course."

As if the "rights" to their lands were not already their own to do as they will; as if this "token of gratitude" that was given made up for what they had lost.

The new sheriff of Nottingham sat upon his throne, behaving as if being appointed sheriff made him king. It had been less than a fortnight since Vaisey had taken over, and already the people were beginning to show the effects of undue suffering. Many already poor farmers were being forced to give up even the most basic of needs to support the cause of the king. Every blacksmith and workman in his trade was ordered to shut down their own shops and make only swords and weapons. It was funny how the needs to support a war could change so drastically from one day to the next.

She knew that her father was hard-pressed to pay the taxes warranted for King Richard's mission; he had spent many a long day traveling from one town to the next, gathering needed supplies and money. He had never taken more than a man could supply, however. She had seen him take coins from his own purse to pay off a man's debt.

She looked to her father who stood beside her. If he held the same angry thoughts, his face did not show it. He simply held Vaisey's gaze, calmly, with no emotion displayed upon his face. Marian forced herself to do likewise. It was rather difficult. Not only had she to deal with Vaisey's repugnance, she was also forced to suffer the unwavering gaze of Sir Guy of Gisborne. He stood beside his leader and watched her and her father silently, his pale blue eyes missing nothing. She tried to pretend that he was not in the room.

"And since you are already here, you should stay for the feast that we are having this evening."

"Feast?" She looked to the sheriff, incredulous. "You plan to feast while the people of this land are starving?" Her father gave her a look that spoke volumes, but she chose to ignore it. It had been years since the castle had held any sort of celebration. It was in poor taste, when so many of the land's men were suffering and dying in The Holy Land, and so many of its people here were going hungry. She and her father had chosen to make do with as little as possible, giving their extra food and supplies to the people. It was the only reason that some were still alive – and still it had not been enough.

"Sir Edward," said Vaisey in clipped tones, not making eye contact or acknowledging Marian at all, "I trust that this is a suitable arrangement for you. We must all do our part in helping the King in his mission in The Holy Land. It would be a shame if any of our nobles were found to be – less than supportive of their Monarch."

What he did not say spoke volumes.

"Yes, Lord Vaisey." he said, bowing his head in acquiescence. "I thank you – and Prince John – for your most generous gifts. My daughter and I humbly accept your invitation for this eve."

"Very good," said Vaisey, looking as though he did not expect anything less from his dethroned predecessor. "Well – be gone, then. The feast will begin shortly after 7 o'clock." He shooed them away, and Marian resisted the urge to glare at him before she turned with her father and walked toward the stone steps that would lead them to the upper level of the castle.

She had not missed the slight smile that played on Gisborne's lips when her father agreed to stay.

It was customary for the sheriff and his family to take up residency in this castle, and many families had lived within these old walls. Marian grew up in the keep, memorizing each and every pathway, step and doorway. Once she became older, her father decided that it would be better to keep her at Knighton, hidden away from all the men who came to stay here as guests. She had originally protested the decision, but now she was glad of it. If there was anything "good" about this entire situation, it was knowing that she, at least, had not lost the place that she considered to be her home. And nothing about its current residents made her wish to stay.

Once they had reached their rooms, her father closed her door firmly and turned toward her, a look of disappointment and anger upon his features.

"Marian, I am as unhappy about these arrangements as you are – but you must keep your silence. Speaking out against Vaisey will only bring trouble upon our heads. From now on, I insist that you hold your tongue." She opened her mouth to speak, but he silenced her. "Especially in the presence of Vaisey and Gisborne. And please, for my sanity and peace of mind, do not wander this keep on your own. Promise me this."

Though quietly seething at being told to remain docile and quiet, she agreed to her father's wishes. To herself, she only promised to _try_ not to speak - trying and doing were two very separate things; she knew her own mind too well to give in completely. Edward seemed content with her mumbled, "Yes, Father," and opened her door to go to his own room.

He stopped short of the doorway, and she heard him say, "Sir Guy. I did not expect to see you here. Is there anything that I can do for you?"

"I hope I have not come at an inopportune time." replied Guy, his deep voice resounding throughout the room. "I have been asked to see that you are both taken care of. Also, Lord Vaisey wishes to speak with you on matters of the old appointment of the guards, Sir Edward."

"Now?" Guy merely nodded. Her father looked to her and then to Guy and silently left the room, leaving the door wide open. She wished he would simply tell Gisborne that he was not welcome to visit his daughter, that she was already promised to someone, anything but simply leave her alone with him.

Guy walked around the open door and she immediately felt self-conscious.

"Is everything to your liking? Do you need anything? A fire, perhaps?"

"No, I thank you, I am fine." she answered, trying very hard to keep the bitterness that she felt from her tone.

"I...also came to ask if I might escort you this evening. To the banquet."

Marian was dumbfounded, unable to speak for several moments. After everything that he had put herself and her father through, how could he possible think that she would accept such an offer?

"I...I thank you for the request, Sir Guy, but..." She struggled to come up with a suitable excuse. Oh yes, Robin. "I am afraid that I am promised to someone." She wasn't sure why she chose to not say his name. "It would be improper if I were to accept your proposal."

It was a valid point, logic that no man could dispute. Surely now, he would agree that his suggestion would be in bad taste and leave her alone.

How very wrong she was. Guy seemed to be ignorant of what was considered proper behavior - or perhaps he knew that it was not proper, but did not care. Both scenarios made her extremely nervous.

"I assume that this man, to whom you are engaged, is in The Holy Land?" She nodded and felt the heat rise quickly in her face, knowing exactly the meaning behind his words: If Robin were here, she would have married several years ago. Being nineteen, she was now considered past marrying age. Most of her peers had several children already.

"And I also assume that this man may not return from the war. It seems that it would be in your interest to find a respectable suitor now, rather than wait until it is too late."

Marian sucked in a breath. Several moments passed, and her father's plea for her silence rang loudly inside her head.

"All the same," she replied much more calmly than she felt; within her, there was a mighty storm brewing. "I do not wish to be unseemly. When my intended returns, he will not be pleased to see that I have been accepting escorts from other men. Thank you for your offer. If you'll excuse me, I wish to rest before dinner, this evening."

"My offer stands, should you change your mind, My Lady. I have been given the rights to the shire of Locksley while its owner is away, and a considerable sum for my new position as Vaisey's Man-at-Arms. A lady of your position, and age, would be very lucky to receive a better offer." He crossed his arms, a light smirk on his face, looking very much like the stuffed peacocks that she had seen in a neighboring Lord's Great Hall.

She knew she must choose her words very carefully. Should she deny him and do so insultingly, she may very well end up with her head on the chopping block. She was not sure how Guy of Gisborne would fair with rejection, she guessed not well, and she had seen many women die for lesser offenses. In these times, it was critical to be careful of what one said. The title of "Witch" could very easily be placed on any woman's head.

"Very well, then. I accept your offer, but ask that it be done very discreetly, as I do not wish to upset my father. He has his heart set on my marriage to Robin of Locksley." She added the title purposefully, satisfied when Guy's smirk turned to a frown at the mention of the lands that he temporarily held.

"Very well. You will sit at my right this evening." He nodded his goodbye, his eyes never leaving her face, and closed door softly at his departure.

No longer held under his scrutiny, Marian let out a long breath and collapsed into the chair beside her, holding her face in her hands. How on earth was she supposed to dissuade the man without completely destroying their tenuous standing with him and Vaisey?

It seemed an impossible task. She would have to be very careful not to insult Gisborne, but at the same time, not give him too much hope as to her affections. A fine line had been drawn in the sand, and as much as she hated it, she knew she had no choice but to dance very close to the edge and play her part. For her father's sake.

She immediately decided that she must deal with this alone; putting it to her father would only add more burden upon his already heavy shoulders.

"Lord, give me strength," she whispered.

-

She tried to look as hideous as possible for the evening meal. Her hair was put up on top of her head in a severe bun, held in place by her mother's favorite hair pins. She had always thought they were unnecessary and gaudy, but now they seemed perfect: two large stick pins, adorned with red rubies. A castle servant helped her dress in a frumpy gray gown with long, draping sleeves. Being that it was made two sizes too large made it an even better choice: it draped on her like a sack, showing no curves, whatsoever. She looked just like the old maid that Sir Gisborne had insinuated she was becoming.

Though she was still angry at Guy's words, she had to admit, he spoke truth: What man would want her the next year, or the next? She would soon be considered too old. Marriage was the one thing that Marian dreaded the most - more than bearing children, even. Not because she was afraid of commitment to a man; she was afraid of losing herself. Married women had little choice in anything, even in some cases, to what clothes they wore.

"Are you sure you won't wear the red dress, My Lady? it would look lovely with your dark hair."

"No, thank you, Getrude." She smiled gratefully at the older woman, and grabbed her hand just as she was about to leave. "I wish we could take you back to Knighton with us." Getrude had been a trusted servant with her family for many years. Many of the servants at Knighton had to be let go, as her father could no longer afford to keep them. Some, like Gertrude, had found positions here at the castle. She did not like to think of what would happen to the others.

"As do I, Miss, but the good Lord gives us what He give us, and we must be thankful for it."

Marian's smile faded slightly, and she patted Gertrude's hand and then let it go. "I suppose you're right."

But she did not feel thankful.

-

The dinner feast was simply a ruse. Shortly after the many nobles had had their fill of roast pheasant, pork, figs and an array of other dishes, Vaisey stood to speak. Marian did not notice him standing at first. She was too busy avoiding the constant gaze of the man sitting beside her. He never tried to make conversation, thankfully, but his eyes rarely left her face.

At the moment, he was quietly laughing; she had been caught feeding scraps to the poor dogs who were lying beneath the table, their ribs jutting out from their sides. Marian could never stand to see anything suffer unnecessarily. She had half a mind to wrap up the large pheasant that sat on the table in front of her, as well. Many hungry children had lined up outside, hoping for a bit of charity from their new sheriff. Her father had also noticed them, and had been discreetly hiding food in his napkin for most of the meal. She looked over to him, and they shared a small, conspiratory smile.

"Lords and Ladies," began Vaisey in a loud voice, "Thank you very much for attending at such short notice this evening. Your presence is most appreciated – la-di-da-di-da, etcetera, etcetera." He smacked his hand loudly on the table before him. "Now, let's get down to business. Prince John has put me into this position as sheriff, because he is not pleased, of late, with the way that the taxes have been collected."

Marian looked over to her father. It appeared that all the blood had left his face, save for two bright spots upon his cheeks. She grabbed his hand.

Vaisey continued, "And in doing so, has informed me that the taxes must be raised. Whatever amount you and your people are giving to King Richard's great mission in The Holy Land, it is now doubled."

"What?" one noble asked incredulously, standing quickly to his feet, "How can you ask this of us? We are already struggling to pay the taxes we have now!"

"In answer to your question, Joshua," said Vaisey smugly, not caring that he was insulting the nobleman by using his first name, "You, and everyone here tonight, will have the opportunity to show your support of the good King by sharing the gold and coin that you have upon your persons."

"Are you mad?" asked an elderly man, who was wearing a great many jewels. "I will not suffer this insolence! Do you mean to rob us while we sit here? You have no right-"

"Oh, I have every right." He looked around the room, giving them all a toothy grin, looking very much like a laughing skeleton. "And right now, I have several dozen knights lined up outside this door. Should any of you leave without giving your tithes, I will see that you are all arrested for treason against the king."

"On what grounds?"

"Come now, Sir Frederick! You have all been withholding coin, Prince John is not deceived. He is very unhappy that you have not been showing your love for him or his brother. Those that are for the monarch would surely give everything they have, would they not? This is for the good of England. Isn't that what we're all working for?"

He looked in her direction, and Marian held her breath, afraid for a moment that he could hear the awful things that she shouted at him in her head. But he turned his attention, instead, to Sir Guy.

"My man, Gisborne will pass around the basket for you all to place your offerings. I suggest you give generously. If I find any piece of gold or jewels hidden away," He nodded toward a woman who was attempting to hide her wedding ring inside her bodice, "I will make sure you stay in the worst rat-infested cell that I can find - and that will be before I send your names to the Prince."

They all did as instructed, though not without mumbling complaints and curses. Several women sat in tears beside their angry husbands. Guy walked down the row of noblemen and women, one hand on the hilt of his sword, silently taking their gems and purses and jewelry, some that had probably been passed down for generations.

He finally stopped in front of her father, who, this time, did nothing to hide his anger. She watched as he removed his ring, something she had never seen him do, a look of rage glittering in his eyes. He thew it into the basket that was held out before him with force. Marian blanched as Guy stood before her, patiently waiting as she removed her gold necklace and placed it in among the other jewels.

"And – your hair baubles too, Lady Marian," leered Vasiey. She glanced at the tower of jewels and gold, and spotted her father's wedding ring. "Come, come. We don't have all night."

From where Guy stood, the basket that he held was completely hidden from Vaisey's watchful eye, and so, in a last-minute decision, she decided to use Guy's attraction toward her to her advantage.

With her mind set, she slowly removed her mother's hair clips. Her long hair fell about her shoulders and down her back in waves. With butterflies and knots in the pit of her stomach, she looked up to meet Guy's stare. Carefully, she placed the large hair pins into the basket and, without his notice, hid her father's ring in her palm at the same time.

When she withdrew her hand, it was shaking. She quickly placed it in her lap, but did not look away. Guy stood there longer than necessary, looking as though he were trying to search through her mind and pick apart every secret held within.

"Gisborne!" Vaisey yelled, though it did little to move the man in front of her. He simply smiled at her and moved down the row, never taking his eyes from her face, until he had reached the end of the table and was forced to turn away to hand the treasures to the sheriff.

When he finally looked away, she felt as though she had lost a small piece of her soul.

**End notes: I do realize that Guy is being particularly pretentious and I hope you don't hate me for it. Guy doesn't wait around for things to happen, though; he makes thing happen. And he really doesn't have the gift of tactfulness. Not really. Since I'm only writing it in Marian's point of view, I thought I'd add that in this instance, he just knows that he wants her and to heck with the consequences. Plus, hearing about her "betrothed" really ruffled his feathers. So, please tell me what you think. :) **


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